VIETNAM CEP (Church Empowerment Program)
A 5-day School of Marriage was held in Vietnam in March 2018. There were 21 attendees—pastors and their spouses.
At the beginning of the seminar, the attendees quietly took notes during the lecture. As the school progressed, they began to feel more relaxed and comfortable. They spoke freely, asking questions, sharing personal experiences, and interacting with one another. One of the topics discussed was the need to forgive their spouses, which involves the difficult process of releasing the pain from the depths of their hearts in a healthy way. One pastor’s wife was in tears as she talked about the struggles of her marriage. Even the interpreter, who translated from English into Vietnamese, was in tears as he talked about his own experiences. People felt very free to speak without hesitation about personal matters.
Ruth, a woman pastor, shared about the painful early years of her marriage before she became a Christian. With one daughter and another girl on the way, her mother-in-law consulted a fortune teller who advised her to tell her son to divorce his wife. Ruth was abandoned by her husband. She went through serious bouts of depression and contemplated suicide. During these painful years, she heard the Gospel and was saved. She was discipled and in time, as a single mother, became the pastor of a house church where she is serving today.
An elderly pastor’s wife had a sad countenance during the entire seminar. While most attendees participated in the discussions, she did not say a word. At the end of the seminar, she spoke up. For their whole marriage her husband was the dominant one. Her complaints and opinions were never heard. There was no communication. They lived separate lives. This long-term emotional pain manifested itself in major physical illnesses. She considered divorce. She never talked with anyone concerning her inner pain. She suffered in silence, while her husband, living in a completely different world from hers, went about his pastoral duties. At the seminar, she spoke publicly for the first time about the pains of her marriage. Her speaking up was the beginning of healing for their relationship. Her husband also shared how he, through the seminar, began to see the vital need for communication on a deeper level within their marriage. He asked the group to pray for him, that he will work hard at learning to listen to the heart of his wife, and also his son. The whole group gathered around them and prayed for them.
There were several other testimonies, each sharing how they have learned from the seminar. They felt the presence of the Holy Spirit in bringing such freedom for the attendees to speak up on very sensitive subjects. This is especially notable because Asians tend to avoid speaking about their personal struggles in order to save face.
Praise God for answered prayers. The Holy Spirit took control of the meeting and directed it in the way that He chose. Let us pray that these pastors and their spouses will continue to learn to openly communicate to each other and improve their marriages.